Ready for 2012 Already

I try to stay away from negativity on my blog.  I know it’s hard to read posters’ blogs who can’t seem to lift themselves up and focus on the positive.  That being said, I’ve had one helluva month.  That’s why I’ve stopped posting my Europe trip recaps and haven’t been journaling about what I’ve been up to.  It just seems fake to me to pretend that things in my life are normal and going great right now.   

I’ve debated back and forth about whether to post about what’s going on.  It’s a very private thing and as more time passes I realize that no one understands it unless they’ve actually been through it themselves. 

It’s hard for me too because I feel like the last few months of this year have been hard on a lot of people around me.  My dad was laid off, my mom’s cat died and the twins took that real hard, my friend is going through the same thing I am.  Then there’s my workplace; my co-worker just broke up with her boyfriend of 14 years, my boss’s wife has inoperable breast cancer, and my stuff.  My co-worker said that things come in threes when she told me her bad news (after knowing about mine and my boss’s).  This is especially amazing considering there are only four people who work in my office!   

The “things come in threes” has me worrying now – at the end of October I received heartbreaking news, then last week I had more news that set me back.  I’m bracing myself for Christmas. 

I’ve never gone through the holidays like this before.  It’s really hard to be happy and joyful when you’re so sad, and it just sucks.  I know I have tons to be thankful for and I know that I am extremely lucky to have everything I have.  I don't have to worry about having enough to eat or having a roof over my head, and I have my health.  I have it better than most people in the world just for those reasons alone.  I have the most amazing husband in the world, some people never find "the one."  I'm spoiled by getting to go on nice trips and buy nice things, but still, I'm going through a rough time and I just want to wake up when it's over.  At first I thought it was good timing to go through this now because this time of year always flies by, but now I'm not so sure...  I’m hoping 2012 is a better year for everyone. 

This song has been my theme song lately.  I keep repeating to myself the lyric, "It's always darkest before the dawn."